Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Gas Plunges to $2.05 per Gallon in Iowa: Bush to Blame?

By John W. Lillpop

Shock waves are reverberating throughout the financial markets as the cost of gasoline plummeted to $2.05 in Iowa. Go here:

Democrat leaders in Congress immediately blamed the “jobless, unstable Bush economy” for the dangerous plunge, and accused the administration of manipulating prices for political purposes.

Mind you, these are the same folks who accused G.W. Bush of being up to his dyslexic eyeballs in a massive conspiracy with the bin Laden family and big oil conglomerates when gasoline crashed over the $3 per gallon barrier.

Howard Dean defended the Democrats’ inconsistency by cleverly replying “That was then, this is now.”

The "Dean of Liberal Politics" refused to answer further questions, and dashed off in his convertible, 132-cylinder SUV, no doubt in a hurry to star at another press conference in which President Bush will be blamed for everything from the first ice age that killed millions of innocent dinosaurs to the 1906 San Francisco earthquake, and all Category Five hurricanes and typhoons in recorded history.

In other news, Harry Reid, Democrat Senate leader, accused the president of playing politics during his national television address to the nation on September 11.

Pressed to explain how Bush could have avoided mentioning the war in Iraq and the war on terror during the address, Reid reportedly complained that the president failed to mention crucial domestic issues. Reid elaborated by saying that Bush deliberately avoided vital topics like Monday Night Football moving to ESPN, the impending collapse of the Detroit Tigers, the exploding price of beer per gallon at most ball parks, and Nancy Pelosi’s new “Speaker of The House” letterhead.

Reid closed by comparing plunging gasoline prices to the Holocaust under Adolph Hitler. Asked to explain his metaphor, Reid muttered something about weapons of mass destruction, the lack of a connection between Saddam Hussein and Al-qaeda,and the lies and distortions in ABC’s “The Path to 9/11.”

All of which suggests that America has an unlimited supply of alternative energy embedded in the hearts and minds of liberal politicians. I refer to hot air, which, if harvested from Democrat speeches and press conferences, could replace the combined energy derived from coal, nuclear, and solar sources for decades!

John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.