Right-Wing Extremist Apologizes for Slavery

By John W. Lillpop


Inspired by the terrific example set by members of the US House and Senate last week, I am ready to add my voice to those honorable politicians who publicly apologized for slavery.

However, rather than apologizing for the Caucasian race in general for sins going back 400 years, my preference is to take responsibility for my specific fair share of the carnage.

It's called "taking personal responsibility" and is all the rage on Facebook, Twitter, and other digital age venues.

Therefore, this apology:

"To people of all races, nationalities, ethnic origins, genders, sexual orientations, political affiliations, and moral values who were forced into servitude, at anytime, by John W. Lillpop of San Jose, California, and whom are still alive:

"My deepest, heart felt apologies and prayer for forgiveness.

"I ought not to have done it.

"Although I will be damned if I can recall ever specifically enslaving, or even abusing, anyone over the past 400 years, I must be guilty.

"After all, I am a Caucasian Christian male and member of the NRA who believes in secure borders, the rule of law, small government, low taxes, loving not killing babies, and a strong national defense."

"Please understand that I am not entirely at fault. I was, you see, raised in a home that put me at great risk.

"I was raised by a stay at home mom and a father who served in the US Navy and then worked very hard to feed and house us.

"Our family went to church on most Sundays, paid our bills and taxes on time, and respected all people.

"Except for that mysterious period when we strayed and dabbled in slavery. Perhaps it is best to have no recollection whatsoever of those awful times?"

"In closing, we should all take a moment to thank God for those brave Americans who had the courage to force an end to slavery.

By the way, do remember, they were white Republicans!

In full and deep sorrow,

John W. Lillpop
San Jose Ca"

Stimulating Californians: Federal Government Giveth, State Taketh Away

By John W. Lillpop


Middle class California workers planning to party with those extra dollars from Barack Obama's much heralded tax cut would be well advised to avoid spending too lavishly until the dust has settled in Sacramento.

As reported in the Washington Times, in part:

Taxpayers from coast to coast are less than impressed with the plan's (Obama's stimulus package) $400-a-year refundable tax credit, which would show up in most paychecks this spring as an added $13 per week when federal withholding rates are adjusted. It drops to about $7.70 a week at the start of 2010.

'It's an extra bag of popcorn and a Pepsi, if you know what I mean," said Glen Falke, 64, an arborist from upstate New York. 'It's not a big deal for me.'

But residents of cash-strapped California are especially underwhelmed because a slew of proposed state tax increases - on everything from the gas tax to sales tax - threaten to wipe out the modest payday bonus from Mr. Obama.

'That $13 isn't going to do much when the state is raising everything," said Linda Fernandez, 65, a special-education teacher in San Dimas, Calif. '

'The middle class never really benefits," she said. "The problem is all politicians promise us the world and very few can deliver much.'
--------------------------------------------

Well said, Linda!

Fact is, Californians are falling victim to a vicious Ponzi scheme, orchestrated by liberals, whereby the federal government sends money to taxpayers, only to have said money turned over to tax-hungry leeches at the state level.

Obama-nomics: Downgrading the American dollar to CHANGE!



http://washingtontimes.com/news/2009/feb/14/california-tax-hikes-threaten-to-wipe-out-stimulus/

Barack Obama: You're No Abe Lincoln!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

President Barack Obama took advantage of Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday to point out how he has lived his own life in accordance with the examples set by America's 16th president.

As Obama deftly pointed out, both men served in the Illinois House of Representatives, and both were educated as lawyers.

Other similarities and differences exist; some of which Obama did NOT highlight.

For example:

Lincoln was born in a one-room log cabin in Kentucky to uneducated farmers. He was the first American president born outside of the original thirteen colonies.

Obama was hatched in a mud hut somewhere in Kenya where birth certificates are apparently illegal. He was the first American president born outside the United States.

Because of the slavery issue, Lincoln was not even on the ballot in nine southern states for the 1860 presidential election.

Thanks to ACORN activists, Obama's name appeared on ballots provided to illegal aliens, felons, and others not eligible to vote in all 50 states, Mexico, and lord knows where else.

Lincoln redefined Republicanism by shifting emphasis to the Declaration of Independence as the foundation of American political values — freedom and equality for all, rather than the Constitution's tolerance of slavers.

Thanks to a $750 million war chest, ACORN voter fraud, and a biased liberal media, Obama redefined the Democrat party as home to a gaggle of undisciplined Marxists, baby killers, pacifist wusses, corrupt labor unions, and elitists addicted to wasting taxpayer money on mindless liberal causes.

During the Civil War, Lincoln assumed powers no previous President had tried. He used his war powers to proclaim a blockade, suspended the writ of habeas corpus, spent money before Congress appropriated it, and imprisoned 18,000 suspected Confederate sympathizers without trial. (1)

One of Obama's first acts as commander-in-chief during the war on terror was to order the closure of Guantanamo Bay, outlaw torture, and otherwise make the world a kinder, gentler place for Islamofascists dedicated to murdering Americans, Jews, and infidels throughout the world.

Lincoln was very well respected as a man of integrity and was called "Honest Abe."

Obama cavorts with tax cheats, ACORN volunteers involved in voter fraud, and other unsavory characters, mostly unwashed Democrats from Illinois.

And, most dramatically,

Lincoln signed two Emancipation Proclamations to free (ultimately) four million slaves.

Obama is set to sign a "stimulus" bill that will pile crushing debt on the backs of several future generations of Americans, thereby enslaving people of all races, ethnic backgrounds, religions, nationalities, and socioeconomic classes just to implement a host of failed liberal programs that America neither needs or wants.


Bottom Line: Barack Obama, you are no Abraham Lincoln!

(1) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abraham_Lincoln

Mega Dittos, President Obama!

Satire by John W. Lillpop

In yet another bold move in a week of unprecedented executive action by an inexperienced community organizer in the White House, President Barack Obama abandoned several "old school" concerns harbored by the Bush administration in order to properly address more urgent threats.

Specifically, President Obama announced that his administration has managed to isolate Osama bin Laden to a few "hot spots" where terrorists are known to congregate, thereby taking the bin Laden crisis off the president's Urgent Action calendar.

When pressed for details, the president referred the press to CIA Director Leon Pinetta who explained that the "hot spots" include Baghdad's "green zone," Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Egypt, Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and other Muslim states known to be sympathetic to the CEO of global Islamofascism.

Pinetta also indicated that sleeper cell neighborhoods in Detroit and South Chicago might be "of interest" in locating OBL, although further action would be dependent on convincing BHO to supersede his first Executive Order which dismantled W.'s unconstitutional, illegal, immoral, and secretive domestic wiretapping apparatus.

On a more cheery note, Pinetta declared that reports which allege that Osama bin Laden works as a fund raiser for CAIR in downtown Washington, D.C., at 1700 Pennsylvania Avenue, are "completely false and not worthy of further action or comment by the CIA or other federal law enforcement agency."

With Osama-mania effectively muted, President Obama rolled up his sleeves and tackled some of the more critical issues on the day.

Namely, BHO took on Rush Limbaugh, Republicans who listen to El Rushbo, and unborn fetuses, those incorrigible rascals waiting to pop out and destroy the environment, the global economy, and the world's food and water supplies.

As a result, Limbaugh, Republican listeners, and the unborn got a taste of presidential wrath of the type normally seen when a nasty boil shows up on the president's bum, or when a lingering hang over, brought on by not having enough balls to say no to at least some of the balls spinning out of control in the wee morning hours, continues to haunt America's main man several days later.

As reported by the New York Post and repeated below, in part:

"President Obama warned Republicans on Capitol Hill today that they need to quit listening to radio king Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with Democrats and the new administration.

"You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package."

With all due respect to the new president, getting "things done" is not in the best interests of America when the "things" are harmful to homeland security, national defense, the economy, and traditional family values.

Perhaps President Obama should stop listening to out of touch people like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and other clue less liberals?

Instead, Mr. president, why not try to catch Rush's show which is on from 12-3 PM every day? Who knows, you might benefit from diversity of opinion and, with a little effort, might become the most famous "ditto head" in all of America!

President Obama also flashed a bit of competitive arrogance which indicates that he is probably better suited to arranging midnight basketball tournaments than serving as America's commander-in-chief.

From the New York Post, this additional information, in part:

"In an exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) about the (stimulus) proposal, the president shot back: "I won," according to aides briefed on the meeting. "I will trump you on that."

"We are experiencing an unprecedented economic crisis that has to be dealt with and dealt with rapidly," Obama said during the meeting."

So, according to President Obama, in the event of an "unprecedented crisis" as defined by a Democrat president, the system of checks and balances built into our form of government is null and void?

Powers granted to the legislative and judicial branches of government under the Constitution are unilaterally trumped by the president when he has decided that he "won"?

Clearly, President Obama needs a crash course in Civics 101. Like three hours a day, from 12-3 PM, Eastern Time, for example.

All one needs, Mr. President, is an open mind and a reliable radio on which to listen to the man "with talent of loan from God, on a mission to educate and irritate liberals!"

Mega dittos, Mr. President!

Was Media Coverage of the Inauguration Fair?

Satire by John W. Lillpop

Although I was (thankfully) able to avoid most of the Obamania celebrations broadcast by the liberal media on January 20, there were circumstances beyond my control that left me vulnerable a few times throughout the dreary day.

For instance, when nature called, I rushed to the rest room only to discover that jumbo-sized plasma television screens were mounted everywhere. Tragically, all were tuned to CNN, CBS, or NBC.

Dreary and depressing stuff, that.

Because of too much coffee and a weak bladder, nature called early and often, exposing me to a form of torture that no conservative should have to endure.

Given the choice between being water boarded or forced to watch Katie Couric, Brian Williams, and the gang at CNN deify Barack Obama, my only question would be: My water or yours?

In the interest of providing children with a fair and balanced view of America's bold new era, the following pop quiz has been gleaned from liberal talking points seen on January 20, 2009:


1. President Obama is:

( ) More important than Jesus Christ and God
( ) The embodiment of the cumulative spirituality, intelligence, integrity, kindness, wisdom, honesty, goodness, and love found in the Twelve disciples and all of the Roman Catholic Popes
( ) Infallible and Holy
( ) All of the above


2. Joe Biden:

( ) Is Vice President AND Secretary of State
( ) Works as comedian AND court jester for the White House
( ) Wrote the 1929 Fireside Chat in which President Roosevelt calmed America's fears about the depression
( ) Operated the TV camera during that 1929 Chat which was beamed throughout America in digital HDTV and surround sound

3. Obama's election proves that:

( ) Any inexperienced and unqualified black kid with $750 million dollars, ACORN voter fraud connections, and a gaggle of worshipping liberal "journalists" on his side can grow up to be president
( ) Black racism combined with liberal guilt can overcome America's obsession with Democracy and vote integrity
( ) The ability to deliver "thrills running up and down" the legs of dim wit liberals is more important than logic and common sense
( ) The premature death of communism has been greatly exaggerated

4. President Obama's Inaugural Address:

( ) Is more sacred than the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and Bill of Rights combined
( ) Deserves to be added to the Holy Bible as "The Gospel According to Obama"
( ) Is the most important 18 minutes of breaking news from Washington, D.C. since Richard Nixon's secretary "accidentally" erased Tricky Dick's Watergate confession in 1972
( ) Should be re-broadcast before each NBA basketball game, replacing that tired, old school National Anthem
( ) Should be the subject of an Oliver Stone flick titled, "The Audacity of Hype!"


5. As a result of Obama's message, millions will:

( ) Replace "Ask What You Can Do For Your Country" with, "What can big government can do for me?" gibberish
( ) Join the US of A communist party
( ) Cancel private health insurance plans in anticipation of Universal Socialized Medicine
( ) Stop making mortgage payments to greedy, corrupt lenders
( ) Join ACORN's "Reelect Obama 2012" campaign


6. John Roberts' flub during the Oath of Office was:

( ) Blatant racism intended to confuse a person of color
( ) A sinister plot by Republicans to invalidate the Obama presidency since the Birth Certificate fiasco flopped
( ) A feeble, last ditch effort to make eight years of language abuse by George Bush seem more presidential
( ) A high-tech lynching of a black dude


7. January 20, 2009 will be remembered as:

( ) Obamamas--a new inclusive holiday to replace December 25, a non-inclusive pagan holiday celebrated by confused Christians to commemorate the birth of a Jew
( ) The day that that stagnant, old Bush on the White House grounds was pruned back and shipped to Texas
( ) The day on which being a citizen of the world became more important than being a citizen of the United States
( ) The date on which being helpless and reliant on others replaced self-reliance and success as American virtues.

In keeping with liberal dogma, there is no "failing", or other self-esteem-bashing element to this quiz. You finished the quiz, which is good enough for Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Karl Marx.

Best of all, there is no longer a need to be hard working, competent, resourceful, goal oriented, driven, prudent, austere, patriotic, cautious, or diligent.

From now on, all of your needs will be taken care of by the federal government and Democrat politicians, like it or not!

Welcome to the Obama Nation!

President Obama's First Lie: "My Fellow Citizens"

By John W. Lillpop

Football legend Vince Lomabradi once remarked, "Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing!"

Barack Obama knows exactly what the late Lombardi meant. He also has a greater appreciation for the "thrill of victory" after being sworn in as America's 44th president on this foreboding winter day in Washington, D.C.

President Obama also apparently enjoys a good gloat at the expense of those he has vanquished in the cutthroat wars known as American politics.

Which is why his first words as president were all, at once, a poke in the eye to his tormentors and an outright lie.

President Obama began his inaugural address with the salutation, "My fellow citizens."

Anyone who has followed the three-ring circus involving the president's birth certificate knows that Obama calling anyone a "fellow citizen" is a damnable lie, unless one hails from a mud hut in Kenya.

He dang near admitted as much when he described himself and the dog of his dreams as a "Mutt."

Unfortunately for America, the civilized world, and all of humanity, the so-called "objective press" was too overwhelmed with "thrills running up and down their legs" to concern themselves with puny issues like Constitutional eligibility.

Then again perhaps the Constitution and the whole idea of Democracy are outdated and overrated?

We will soon find out!

Will Sean Penn's Cuddling with Latin Dictators Cost Him Oscar?

By John W. Lillpop

Pity poor Sean Penn!

How was the demented lefty supposed to know that pink and red simply do not mix in Latin culture?

How was the lead actor in "Milk" supposed to know that attempting to make an icon out of homosexual Harvey Milk would fail to amuse millions of Spanish-speakers all across the globe?

As reported, in part, in reference (1), by the New York Post:

"SEAN Penn is getting worried that his cozying up to Marxist dictators might cost him an Academy Award. We reported last month how Penn was smacked by the gay Advocate magazine over his visits to Fidel and Raul Castro, whose regime murdered and imprisoned gays. Last week, Penn called José Miguel Vivanco, head of Human Rights Watch's Latin America division, and asked for a meeting. Vivanco flew to San Francisco to dine with the star Thursday and brief him on the situation in Cuba and Venezuela. Vivanco was thrown out of the latter country by Penn pal President Hugo Chavez.

"Tom Cruise let Scientology make him a household name for weirdness. Sean is entering into similar territory as a p.r. stooge for left-wing dictatorships," said a Hollywood insider. "It's never too late to do the right thing," says Thor Halvorssen of the Human Rights Foundation. "Political prisoners in Venezuela and Cuba could use the help of someone like Sean Penn.

Well said, Thor!

Sean Penn should do the right thing by dumping Hugo Chavez and the Castro brothers.

Moreover, if Penn just happens to win an Oscar in the process, well, worse things have happened to enemies of Chavez and Castro--especially gay ones!

Reference (1):

http://www.nypost.com/seven/01182009/gossip/pagesix/penn_antsy_over_lefty_pals_150663.htm