Satire by John W. Lillpop
Moon bats who voted for Barack Obama are obviously delighted that the U.S. Senate has approved the commie health scheme known as ObamaCare on the morn of Christmas Eve.
However, many are confused and do not realize that the House and Senate must reconcile any differences before a final bill can be submitted to the president. Others are not informed as to the effective dates and coverage terms.
The following list of Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs) was hacked from DNC computers and shows the answers that Democrat voters are being fed:
Q: My next health insurance premium is due on January 5, 2010. Should I pay it, or will Obama handle it for me?
A: Registered Democrats and Independents who voted for ‘Bama are automatically covered as of 1/1/2010. President Obama has requested that instead of wasting more money on insurance premiums, these folks should make a generous, tax-deductible contribution to the Democrat party. Write “Ben Nelson-Mary Landrieu payoffs” on your check.
Registered Republicans and Independents who voted for John McCain will not be covered under ObamaCare until their 65th birthday or five years following the president’s signature, whichever comes first. Such people must continue to pay their overpriced premiums or risk a $5,000 annual fine and five years in jail.
Q: I am an illegal alien from Latin America who desperately needs transsexual surgery to align my sexual plumbing with my natural urges and instincts. I am bilingual, but only in Spanish and Mexican.
Am I covered, and when can I trade my useless penis for replacement parts that will set me free?
A: Good news, Pedro! As it turns out, you are covered as of 1/1/2010, just like the dopey American citizens who will end up paying for your switch.
To qualify, simply provide proof of your illegal alien status to the attending surgeon at least twenty minutes before anesthesia is administered.
One word of caution: Do not speak even a single word of English. Doing do may disqualify you immediately.
Q: I am eight plus months pregnant with twin boys. The father and I are not married and we have agreed that I will get an abortion. From a financial view, should we have the abortion in 2009 or wait until 2010?
A: We cannot dispense medical advice, but recommend that you ask your physician if he or she can guarantee that your brats will not pop out before January 1, 2010.
If premature delivery is not a risk, we advise waiting until mid-January to nuke the brats. By doing so, you will automatically qualify for the ObamaCare late-term rebate, which can save you thousands!
Q: Mother is 54 years old and in need of bypass heart surgery. She is still very active in GOP politics including her role as a top fundraiser for Sarah Palin. What are her options under ObamaCare?
A: We recommend that Mum apply for assisted suicide in a state where that procedure is legal, but wait until after January 1. Good news: Legal assisted suicide is fully covered (no co-pay) for Republicans and Independents who voted for McCain.
There you go! The Democrat party looking out for the little guy as always!
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Marching off to Surrender?
By John W. Lillpop
With all due respect to President Obama, has there ever been a lamer, feebler, dumber, or weaker call to arms than his December 1 “surge” speech?
What must be going through the minds of those young American men and women who will soon be sent into harm’s at the behest of President Obama?
Commander-in-Chief Obama does not really appear committed to winning the war; rather, he seems preoccupied with exit strategies based on politics, including his own prospects for reelection.
Is that any way to run a war? Is that any way to manipulate the lives and limbs of young Americans in our military forces?
What must be going through the minds of Al-Quaeda operatives?
First, this president has all but granted citizenship to KSM and fellow terrorists by providing them with a world stage in New York City. Then the same president makes a token gesture to fulfill a campaign promise, a hollow effort which gives the enemy comfort in knowing the end date and game.
Nearly 70 Decembers ago, America’s naval fleet moored at Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese.
What if President Roosevelt had damned the Japanese for their hostile act of war, but committed America only to fight back until 1943, the year before the next presidential election?
Clearly, this president does not understand the importance of defeating Al-Quaeda and winning the war on terror, which he refuses to even acknowledge.
Obama’s “surge” is all about domestic politics, and protecting the interests of the Democrat party.
It is nothing short of a scandal that 30,000 additional Americans will be sent into battle by a Commander-in-Chief who is more concerned with defeating Republicans than destroying the enemy!
With all due respect to President Obama, has there ever been a lamer, feebler, dumber, or weaker call to arms than his December 1 “surge” speech?
What must be going through the minds of those young American men and women who will soon be sent into harm’s at the behest of President Obama?
Commander-in-Chief Obama does not really appear committed to winning the war; rather, he seems preoccupied with exit strategies based on politics, including his own prospects for reelection.
Is that any way to run a war? Is that any way to manipulate the lives and limbs of young Americans in our military forces?
What must be going through the minds of Al-Quaeda operatives?
First, this president has all but granted citizenship to KSM and fellow terrorists by providing them with a world stage in New York City. Then the same president makes a token gesture to fulfill a campaign promise, a hollow effort which gives the enemy comfort in knowing the end date and game.
Nearly 70 Decembers ago, America’s naval fleet moored at Pearl Harbor was attacked by the Japanese.
What if President Roosevelt had damned the Japanese for their hostile act of war, but committed America only to fight back until 1943, the year before the next presidential election?
Clearly, this president does not understand the importance of defeating Al-Quaeda and winning the war on terror, which he refuses to even acknowledge.
Obama’s “surge” is all about domestic politics, and protecting the interests of the Democrat party.
It is nothing short of a scandal that 30,000 additional Americans will be sent into battle by a Commander-in-Chief who is more concerned with defeating Republicans than destroying the enemy!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Higher Taxes on the Rich: Immoral and Wrong!
By John W. Lillpop
Not only do liberals want to tax the so-called rich in order to fund health care for illegal aliens and other uninsured millions, now a prominent member of the U.S. Senate has proposed a tax on the well to do to pay for Obama’s quagmire in Afghanistan.
As reported at Bloomberg.com, in part:
“Higher-income Americans should be taxed to pay for more troops sent to Afghanistan and NATO should provide half of the new soldiers, said Carl Levin, chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee.”
Levin’s un-American scheme may actually find support among leftists who hate the rich more than they hate war!
When will this madness be halted?
When will the Supreme Court step in and rule that taxing the wealthy for every hair-brained scam and failure committed by our inept -president is unconstitutional, un-American, and just plain immoral?
Think about it: Why in the hell should the rich pay for Obama’s war in Afghanistan? Wealthy people already pay the vast majority of the taxes paid to Uncle Sam—what could possibly justify slamming the successful with even more financial pain?
Clearly, liberals like Levin regard the tax code as a means for punishing those who succeed and who are also a vulnerable minority.
Have you launched a new company, hired scores of employees, and earned a handsome income in the process? According to fractured the mind of Carl Levin, you must be punished for outshining the great unwashed masses.
There is a racist element in all this. For the most part, America’s rich are Caucasian which means that they are “fair game” for liberal tax abusers like Obama and Levin.
Why is there no civil liberties group in place to defend the rich against higher taxes and discrimination based on racial profiling?
Friday, October 16, 2009
ObamaCare Drives Seniors to Mexico as Undocumented Boomers!
Satire By John W. Lillpop
An Open Letter To Mexican President Felipe Calderon
Dear President Calderon:
As you are no doubt aware, America the Great is quickly becoming America the Gray. The so-called "boomer" generation, comprised of approximately 70 million Americans, will soon reach retirement age.
As they age, America's boomers yearn for a less frantic pace---and a lifestyle that allows one to pause and smell the roses now and again.
In other words, boomers are looking for the "Good Life" which is supposed to accrue to those who work 45 years, pay ungodly amounts in taxes, raise a family, put children through college, and baby-sit the grandchildren.
Unfortunately, the United States is no longer as hospitable as it once was to graying citizens, especially now that our economy has collapsed. Further, Marxists dim wits, otherwise known as Democrats, are trying to make life even more unbearable with health care reform that makes it a crime to be over 50!
As a result, boomers have decided to move to your beloved Mexico.
Knowing that the Mexican government is a strong supporter of open borders and liberal immigration policies, as least with respect to migrations from Mexico to America, boomers anticipate that their needs and wishes will be fully accommodated with minimal interference and bureaucratic hassle.
In plain English, boomers expect to be treated like upscale Mexican citizens, with all the perks and advantages attendant thereto.
Incidentally, we prefer to be called "undocumented boomers."
President Calderon, I am delighted to announce that 70 million undocumented American boomers are headed to Mexico!
Viva America!
Current plans call for about 1,500,000 boomers to cross the border into Mexico each month.
As with any complex transition, there are several "ground rules" that must be followed in order to make this change seamless.
Accordingly, your attention is directed to the following action items:
* Mexican sovereignty, borders, and immigration laws are essentially null and void with respect to undocumented boomers. No attempt should be made to enforce said restrictions on good hearted, formerly hard working Americans.
* Undocumented boomers shall receive unlimited education, food, housing, legal assistance, and geriatric care on demand, the cost of which shall be borne solely by Mexican taxpayers.
* Mexican hospitals, medical clinics, and emergency rooms shall be obligated to meet the medical needs of all undocumented boomers, without regard to ability to pay.
This obligation shall not be limited or restricted in any way because of any real or projected negative impact on Mexico's medical systems, including the loss of vital services to Mexican citizens.
* Although undocumented boomers shall not be obligated to pay for medical services received, they shall be entitled to send $30-50 billion a year back to the United States with impunity. The Mexican government shall actively facilitate the transfer of such funds to America.
* English is the only language used by undocumented boomers; boomers have no desire or obligation to learn Spanish.
* America's historic free speech, free love, and anti-war revolutions originated with activists in the boomer generation.
In keeping with the boomer tradition of aggressive activism, from time to time it may be necessary for millions of boomers to take over the streets of Mexico's large cities in order to protest proposed new laws when the "rights" of undocumented boomers are in jeopardy.
During such protests, boomers will wave Old Glory and scream "Yes, we can!" and "We are Mexico!" in English, as they protest the rule of law.
All such activities are valid free speech expressions in a thriving Democracy. As a consequence, the Mexican government shall take no action to limit or impede protests by undocumented boomers.
* We Americans celebrate the 4th of July to commemorate our independence from Great Britain. Undocumented boomers prefer to conduct business as normal on May 5 and September 16, and to reserve the 4th of July for fireworks, BBQs, and displaying Red, White, and Blue everywhere.
* Undocumented boomers shall be licensed to drive without regard to immigration status. All driver instruction and testing materials shall be in English.
* Blood relatives of undocumented boomers shall be eligible for the same reduced tuition rates offered to Mexican students in the nation legally. Immersion for the purpose of teaching Spanish is a failed concept and shall not even be attempted.
* Undocumented boomers shall be eligible to vote in Mexican elections without any requirement to prove identity.
* Grandchildren of undocumented boomers born in Mexico shall be Mexican citizens by virtue of their birth, regardless of the immigration status of their parents and grand parents, and
* Undocumented boomers are very sensitive and are easily offended. Therefore, Mexicans shall refrain from using terms like "illegal alien," "Red Neck," "Cracker,"or "Gringo" when addressing or discussing boomers.
In closing, Mr. President, let me assure you that undocumented boomers will attempt to do for Mexico what 38 million Mexican illegal aliens are currently doing to America!
With best regards and wishes for a diverse and free Mexico!
John Lillpop
San Hose, California
Monday, October 12, 2009
Open Letter to Senator Barbara Boxer
October 11, 2009
Senator Barbara Boxer
Washington, D.C.
Dear Senator:
I am in receipt of your correspondence concerning the gloomy unemployment picture in America, especially in California where the number of unemployed is over twelve percent.
While I agree that action is needed, I do not agree that we need to extend unemployment benefits at this time.
As you are aware, on February 17, 2009, newly installed President Barack Obama signed a so-called "stimulus" bill with a price tag of $787 billion dollars. That bill was rushed to the president for signature, although very few, if any, of those who voted for the measure actually read it.
I note that you voted for the bill, Senator Boxer. Did you read the bill before casting your vote?
President Obama surely did not, and it was he who said the bill had to be enacted immediately to stave off economic disaster and put America back to work.
As you are also aware, at the signing ceremony President Obama claimed that the bill would create or save about 3.5 million jobs, many of them in infrastructure and renewable energy projects. The president also said the measure marked "the beginning of the first steps to set our economy on a firmer foundation."
Eight months later, our economy continues to hemorrhage jobs with no relief in sight. Nationally, unemployment is close to 10 percent, the worst since 1983.
Clearly, the strategy of spend, spend, and spend even more is not the answer to our unemployment problem or the continuing recession.
In fact, the level of spending undertaken by this administration and Congress has caused the federal deficit to spiral out of control, and appears to be costing, rather than adding, jobs so desperately needed by Americans.
In addition, Congress is considering legislation for health care reform and the so-called "Cap and Trade" that you are personally affiliated with and so knowledgeable about.
Each of these programs would cost taxpayers nearly one trillion dollars, if enacted.
Senator, given the depressed state of our economy, is it not time for elected officials to abandon political ambitions and ideological passions in order to fulfill their fiduciary responsibility to the American people?
Rather than pursuing a second stimulus bill, or extending unemployment benefits, Congress and the administration should cut taxes across the board for both individual taxpayers (ten percent) and corporations (twenty five percent).
In addition, legislation for health care reform and Cap and Trade should be postponed until 2012.
Senator Boxer, if the Democrat party is serious about facilitating the return of prosperity to our nation, liberals must stop waging war on private enterprise!
Private enterprise--not government spending-- creates jobs and the opportunity for prosperity in our economy.
Granted, private enterprise is all about profit--but profit is the mother's milk that enables private concerns to hire employees and pay federal, state, and local taxes.
The desire to profit in exchange for providing services and goods is not evil. Rather, it is as the essence of the American Dream.
Finally, how long can our democracy survive when our elected officials find it acceptable to approve and sign bills which they have not read because of length and complexity, but which saddle taxpayers with trillions of dollars of debt?
America's elected officials should be required to read and understand all legislation presented for approval. Bills involving more than $100 billion dollars of taxpayer money should be posted for the public to review at least 14 days before any Congressional vote is scheduled.
Your thoughtful consideration of these points will be greatly appreciated.
Respectfully,
John W. Lillpop
San Jose, Ca
Senator Barbara Boxer
Washington, D.C.
Dear Senator:
I am in receipt of your correspondence concerning the gloomy unemployment picture in America, especially in California where the number of unemployed is over twelve percent.
While I agree that action is needed, I do not agree that we need to extend unemployment benefits at this time.
As you are aware, on February 17, 2009, newly installed President Barack Obama signed a so-called "stimulus" bill with a price tag of $787 billion dollars. That bill was rushed to the president for signature, although very few, if any, of those who voted for the measure actually read it.
I note that you voted for the bill, Senator Boxer. Did you read the bill before casting your vote?
President Obama surely did not, and it was he who said the bill had to be enacted immediately to stave off economic disaster and put America back to work.
As you are also aware, at the signing ceremony President Obama claimed that the bill would create or save about 3.5 million jobs, many of them in infrastructure and renewable energy projects. The president also said the measure marked "the beginning of the first steps to set our economy on a firmer foundation."
Eight months later, our economy continues to hemorrhage jobs with no relief in sight. Nationally, unemployment is close to 10 percent, the worst since 1983.
Clearly, the strategy of spend, spend, and spend even more is not the answer to our unemployment problem or the continuing recession.
In fact, the level of spending undertaken by this administration and Congress has caused the federal deficit to spiral out of control, and appears to be costing, rather than adding, jobs so desperately needed by Americans.
In addition, Congress is considering legislation for health care reform and the so-called "Cap and Trade" that you are personally affiliated with and so knowledgeable about.
Each of these programs would cost taxpayers nearly one trillion dollars, if enacted.
Senator, given the depressed state of our economy, is it not time for elected officials to abandon political ambitions and ideological passions in order to fulfill their fiduciary responsibility to the American people?
Rather than pursuing a second stimulus bill, or extending unemployment benefits, Congress and the administration should cut taxes across the board for both individual taxpayers (ten percent) and corporations (twenty five percent).
In addition, legislation for health care reform and Cap and Trade should be postponed until 2012.
Senator Boxer, if the Democrat party is serious about facilitating the return of prosperity to our nation, liberals must stop waging war on private enterprise!
Private enterprise--not government spending-- creates jobs and the opportunity for prosperity in our economy.
Granted, private enterprise is all about profit--but profit is the mother's milk that enables private concerns to hire employees and pay federal, state, and local taxes.
The desire to profit in exchange for providing services and goods is not evil. Rather, it is as the essence of the American Dream.
Finally, how long can our democracy survive when our elected officials find it acceptable to approve and sign bills which they have not read because of length and complexity, but which saddle taxpayers with trillions of dollars of debt?
America's elected officials should be required to read and understand all legislation presented for approval. Bills involving more than $100 billion dollars of taxpayer money should be posted for the public to review at least 14 days before any Congressional vote is scheduled.
Your thoughtful consideration of these points will be greatly appreciated.
Respectfully,
John W. Lillpop
San Jose, Ca
Friday, October 02, 2009
Chicago Eliminated: Another Teaching Moment for Obama?
By John W. Lillpop
CHICAGO ELIMINATED! was the blaring headline on this first Friday of October. So what? was the bitter reaction of anyone who follows Chicago sports with any degree of sincerity.
After all, being eliminated is a tradition dating back to 1908 for the Windy City. Until now, ELIMINATED has been used to describe the obligatory sacking of the Chicago Cubs from baseball's pennant races or playoffs.
ELIMINATED, ALA Chicago Cubs, happens as early as mid September and as late as mid-October. Whether early or late, it happens every year and no amount of audacity can change that fact.
Now the Curse of Chicago has extended its ferocious tentacles and brought down the bid of the Windy City to be the Host City for the 2016 Olympics.
This despite the "sacrifice" of President Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, and Oprah Winfrey.
Or perhaps BECAUSE of the meddling interference of this elitist trio?
Still, being the good sport that he is, Barack Obama will probably use this public humiliation as a "Teaching Moment" for America and the world.
As Obama works to spin this defeat into a win, he will surely focus on the fact that racism is not limited to white Republicans in America. Denmark and all of the IOC are also afflicted.
Another tactic would be to allege that things would have worked out differently if the president had been able to devote more of his personal time to the bid.
However, ObamaCrats will point out that this president is the Commander-in-chief and was appropriately focused on the war in Afghanistan as a priority item, rather than the gory details of corrupt Chicago politics.
Which is why President Obama met with his top Afghanistan commander, Army General Stanley McChrystal for 25 minutes on Air Force One in Copenhagen.
That 25 minutes was a huge sacrifice made by the president on behalf of the 68,000 American troops in harm's way in Afghanistan.
If race and the Afghan war do not convince skeptics, Obama can always drag out the W. card:
America lost the opportunity to host the 2016 Olympics because of George W. Bush and his shoot-them-up blemishing of America's image hither and yonder.
In other words, Obama inherited the ELIMINATION mess from W.
Perhaps it is time for this president to have a long, quiet talk with his inner child in order to accept a brutal truth: America, and all of the world, is gagging on the over load of Obamamania being forced down our throats.
We are tired of your pretty face and throaty voice, sir!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, Mr. President!
Despite what Oprah and Rahm have been telling you, you are NOT the Messiah, a Star Wars Yedi, or the Dark Knight.
You have been prominently portrayed as the Joker but that is another story.
It is true that you do excel at some things. Like giving lofty speeches loaded with fluffy words and unrealistic promises.
However, despite what Joe Biden has told you, being "Clean and articulate" is NOT good enough for the presidency!
Unemployment is bumping up against 10 percent, the deficit is more bloated than Oprah, and everything else you touch is turning to gold--fool's gold.
You, Mr. President, are mortal, albeit, an above average mortal, with frailties and weaknesses just like the other six billion humans on this planet.
Take a deep breath, sir, and face reality in simple terms that even a Chicago community organizer should be able to grasp:
With all due respect, You suck! Sir!
Monday, June 22, 2009
Right-Wing Extremist Apologizes for Slavery
By John W. Lillpop
Inspired by the terrific example set by members of the US House and Senate last week, I am ready to add my voice to those honorable politicians who publicly apologized for slavery.
However, rather than apologizing for the Caucasian race in general for sins going back 400 years, my preference is to take responsibility for my specific fair share of the carnage.
It's called "taking personal responsibility" and is all the rage on Facebook, Twitter, and other digital age venues.
Therefore, this apology:
"To people of all races, nationalities, ethnic origins, genders, sexual orientations, political affiliations, and moral values who were forced into servitude, at anytime, by John W. Lillpop of San Jose, California, and whom are still alive:
"My deepest, heart felt apologies and prayer for forgiveness.
"I ought not to have done it.
"Although I will be damned if I can recall ever specifically enslaving, or even abusing, anyone over the past 400 years, I must be guilty.
"After all, I am a Caucasian Christian male and member of the NRA who believes in secure borders, the rule of law, small government, low taxes, loving not killing babies, and a strong national defense."
"Please understand that I am not entirely at fault. I was, you see, raised in a home that put me at great risk.
"I was raised by a stay at home mom and a father who served in the US Navy and then worked very hard to feed and house us.
"Our family went to church on most Sundays, paid our bills and taxes on time, and respected all people.
"Except for that mysterious period when we strayed and dabbled in slavery. Perhaps it is best to have no recollection whatsoever of those awful times?"
"In closing, we should all take a moment to thank God for those brave Americans who had the courage to force an end to slavery.
By the way, do remember, they were white Republicans!
In full and deep sorrow,
John W. Lillpop
San Jose Ca"
Inspired by the terrific example set by members of the US House and Senate last week, I am ready to add my voice to those honorable politicians who publicly apologized for slavery.
However, rather than apologizing for the Caucasian race in general for sins going back 400 years, my preference is to take responsibility for my specific fair share of the carnage.
It's called "taking personal responsibility" and is all the rage on Facebook, Twitter, and other digital age venues.
Therefore, this apology:
"To people of all races, nationalities, ethnic origins, genders, sexual orientations, political affiliations, and moral values who were forced into servitude, at anytime, by John W. Lillpop of San Jose, California, and whom are still alive:
"My deepest, heart felt apologies and prayer for forgiveness.
"I ought not to have done it.
"Although I will be damned if I can recall ever specifically enslaving, or even abusing, anyone over the past 400 years, I must be guilty.
"After all, I am a Caucasian Christian male and member of the NRA who believes in secure borders, the rule of law, small government, low taxes, loving not killing babies, and a strong national defense."
"Please understand that I am not entirely at fault. I was, you see, raised in a home that put me at great risk.
"I was raised by a stay at home mom and a father who served in the US Navy and then worked very hard to feed and house us.
"Our family went to church on most Sundays, paid our bills and taxes on time, and respected all people.
"Except for that mysterious period when we strayed and dabbled in slavery. Perhaps it is best to have no recollection whatsoever of those awful times?"
"In closing, we should all take a moment to thank God for those brave Americans who had the courage to force an end to slavery.
By the way, do remember, they were white Republicans!
In full and deep sorrow,
John W. Lillpop
San Jose Ca"
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