What if Her Exploratory Committee Says, "Forget It, Hillary"?

John W. Lillpop

Americans were hit with a real "shock and awe" news item on Saturday.

Quite unexpectedly, and with scant media coverage, Hillary Rodham Clinton has taken "one giant step" for womankind.

Unfortunately, that step was in the direction of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, rather than on the surface of the moon.

Apparently there is a house, a white one, at that address which has caught Hillary's fancy, so she has entered a $100 million sweepstakes for the right to occupy the building.

Hillary is just the latest leftist to put in a bid for the house, as there seems to be no shortage of liberal Democrats anxious to inflict great, and perhaps lethal, damage to the greatest civilization in human history while residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Coincidentally, the house in question will be vacant two years to the date from Hillary's announcement, on January 20, 2009. Bids will be opened on the first Tuesday of November 2008, and the lucky winner will have about 10 weeks to get ready to take over.

Understand, please, that Hillary has taken only a preliminary step in announcing the formation of an exploratory committee to review the viability of her candidacy.

Depending on the results of that review, Hillary may decide to forget her pursuit, or she may decide to order embossed stationery reading "Hillary Rodham Clinton, President of the United States" immediately.

One wonders what will happen if the Clinton Exploratory Committee concludes that Her Ladyship is just not a viable candidate?

A rejection letter from the committee might read something like this:


February 10, 2007

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton
Washington, D.C.

Dear Senator Clinton,

After an exhaustive and thorough examination of the political landscape for the 2008 U.S. presidential elections, we regret to inform you that your candidacy is not likely to succeed, and should be terminated as soon as possible.

We wish we had better news to impart. However, we know that you want nothing but the facts and the truth, as we see it.

Sincerely,

Barack Obama
Chair, Clinton Exploratory Committee
Springfield, Illinois


That Obama is a real shrewd operator, isn't he?


John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!

Why America Needs President Hillary Clinton in 2008

Satire by John W. Lillpop


With the possible exception of blaspheming the Holy Ghost, the most egregious sin a conservative can commit is to knowingly express anything positive about the junior senator from New York, Ms. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Or to be more precise and less politically correct, Mrs. William Jefferson Clinton.

However, egregious sin is actually my favorite summer pastime. So herewith, an endorsement of the unlovable Lady Clinton.

Mind you, I descend into Satan’s domain with eyes wide open, knowing that my license to practice hate mongering in the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy may be irreversibly revoked.

El Rushbo, Michael Savage, and Sean Hannity will no longer accept my collect calls.

But, alas, the pilgrim's path in never easy.

Let's face it, troops. George W. Bush is not Ronald Reagan, nor even George H. Bush for that matter.

A man claiming to be conservative has duped us.

He is a president who has presided over an unprecedented expansion of government and federal spending. Who has cavorted with the devil--AKA Teddy Kennedy--in No Child Left Behind; who speaks Spanish, but seems completely incapable of coherent English.

How can it possibly get worse?

In fact, assuming Republicans regain control of Congress, President Hillary Clinton could be a dramatic improvement.

You say what, Mr. Lillwhatever Pop?

For starters, conservatives would be emancipated from supporting a Republican-President-in-Name-Only (RPINO) who clearly regards fiscal responsibility and other basic conservative solutions as old hat, not cool.

Secondly, those wonderful conservative instincts that have served America so very well in the past would return to the GOP with a flourish if there were a President Hillary Clinton to battle with.

Consider the following:

How would a Republican Congress deal with a new entitlement program costing ten trillion dollars, if proposed by President Hillary Clinton?

Would a GOP Congress allow the national debt to grow wildly out of control, to the detriment of untold numbers of future generations, if a liberal Democrat were president?

What if Madam President refused to secure our borders in time of war, and had the gall to propose amnesty for 12-30 million illegal aliens?

Or what if she remained silent while the Mexican military escorted drug smugglers across the border into America?

What if President Hillary Clinton proposed to sell management of U.S. port security to an Arab nation with known links to terrorists?

Such situations emanating from a Hillary Clinton administration would rally Republicans to take immediate action, concerning themselves only with doing that which is in the best interests of the American people.

For those who may have lost sight of a simple truth, doing what is best for America means sticking to conservative values.
There would be other advantages as well.

President Hillary Clinton and Slick Willie might bring back some of that taxpayer-owned china and other booty pinched from the White House in late January, 2001.

Said booty would once again be on property owned by the people, until at least 2012 or 2016. That would be a good thing.

And with Slick Willie free to run wild in the Oval Office and adjoining back room again, there would surely be three or four sex scandals a year to investigate, providing unlimited blogging material for those of us who blog to the right (far?) of center.

Slick might even use all that sophisticated domestic spying apparatus at the White House to eavesdrop on lonely bimbos in Arkansas or Pakistan. He might even persuade Lady Clinton to do likewise, creating a perfect impeachable scenario for Republicans to adjudicate.

That would mean even more great blogging material for us right-wing nutcases.

All of which is why, as of this moment, I am almost convinced that a vote for Hillary is the most patriotic thing one can do in 2008!




John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.