Satire by John W. Lillpop
In yet another bold move in a week of unprecedented executive action by an inexperienced community organizer in the White House, President Barack Obama abandoned several "old school" concerns harbored by the Bush administration in order to properly address more urgent threats.
Specifically, President Obama announced that his administration has managed to isolate Osama bin Laden to a few "hot spots" where terrorists are known to congregate, thereby taking the bin Laden crisis off the president's Urgent Action calendar.
When pressed for details, the president referred the press to CIA Director Leon Pinetta who explained that the "hot spots" include Baghdad's "green zone," Iran, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Egypt, Somalia, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, and other Muslim states known to be sympathetic to the CEO of global Islamofascism.
Pinetta also indicated that sleeper cell neighborhoods in Detroit and South Chicago might be "of interest" in locating OBL, although further action would be dependent on convincing BHO to supersede his first Executive Order which dismantled W.'s unconstitutional, illegal, immoral, and secretive domestic wiretapping apparatus.
On a more cheery note, Pinetta declared that reports which allege that Osama bin Laden works as a fund raiser for CAIR in downtown Washington, D.C., at 1700 Pennsylvania Avenue, are "completely false and not worthy of further action or comment by the CIA or other federal law enforcement agency."
With Osama-mania effectively muted, President Obama rolled up his sleeves and tackled some of the more critical issues on the day.
Namely, BHO took on Rush Limbaugh, Republicans who listen to El Rushbo, and unborn fetuses, those incorrigible rascals waiting to pop out and destroy the environment, the global economy, and the world's food and water supplies.
As a result, Limbaugh, Republican listeners, and the unborn got a taste of presidential wrath of the type normally seen when a nasty boil shows up on the president's bum, or when a lingering hang over, brought on by not having enough balls to say no to at least some of the balls spinning out of control in the wee morning hours, continues to haunt America's main man several days later.
As reported by the New York Post and repeated below, in part:
"President Obama warned Republicans on Capitol Hill today that they need to quit listening to radio king Rush Limbaugh if they want to get along with Democrats and the new administration.
"You can't just listen to Rush Limbaugh and get things done," he told top GOP leaders, whom he had invited to the White House to discuss his nearly $1 trillion stimulus package."
With all due respect to the new president, getting "things done" is not in the best interests of America when the "things" are harmful to homeland security, national defense, the economy, and traditional family values.
Perhaps President Obama should stop listening to out of touch people like Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and other clue less liberals?
Instead, Mr. president, why not try to catch Rush's show which is on from 12-3 PM every day? Who knows, you might benefit from diversity of opinion and, with a little effort, might become the most famous "ditto head" in all of America!
President Obama also flashed a bit of competitive arrogance which indicates that he is probably better suited to arranging midnight basketball tournaments than serving as America's commander-in-chief.
From the New York Post, this additional information, in part:
"In an exchange with Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.) about the (stimulus) proposal, the president shot back: "I won," according to aides briefed on the meeting. "I will trump you on that."
"We are experiencing an unprecedented economic crisis that has to be dealt with and dealt with rapidly," Obama said during the meeting."
So, according to President Obama, in the event of an "unprecedented crisis" as defined by a Democrat president, the system of checks and balances built into our form of government is null and void?
Powers granted to the legislative and judicial branches of government under the Constitution are unilaterally trumped by the president when he has decided that he "won"?
Clearly, President Obama needs a crash course in Civics 101. Like three hours a day, from 12-3 PM, Eastern Time, for example.
All one needs, Mr. President, is an open mind and a reliable radio on which to listen to the man "with talent of loan from God, on a mission to educate and irritate liberals!"
Mega dittos, Mr. President!
