Monday, June 02, 2008

Tatum O'Neal Uses "Bernie Ward" Defense, Ends Up in Jail!

By John W. Lillpop

Rarely has actress Tatum O'Neal been mistaken for a rocket science intellectual from Hollywood. Mensa meetings are not exactly her cup of tea, which is perfectly fine since she has never been invited to one.

Even though Tatum O'Neal may be as dumb as spent coffee grounds, who would have guessed that this beautiful creature would be on the same level of mental de-evolution as left-wing child pornographer Bernie Ward?

Ward, it will be remembered, is the ex-Catholic priest and liberal talk show host who will spend the next five years in prision as punishment for dabbling in child pornography.

Apparently, Tatum O'Neal remembers at least part of the Bernie Ward story since she mocked the portly pornographer in her defense strategy.

Specifically, when confronted by New York City police for cocaine possession on Sunday night, O'Neal immediately declared that she was merely doing "research" for an acting part that involved drug purchases.

As was the case with Bernie Ward, O'Neal's "research" defense was short lived and she was promptly hauled off to city jail.

Unlike Ward, O'Neal was charged with a misdemeanor and released on her own recognizance.

Purchasing crack cocaine is obviously not as grievous a crime as dabbling in child pornography. Still, actress Tatum O'Neal should spend at least six months in the slammer for following an example set by the insufferable dim wit and pervert Bernie Ward!