Sunday, October 08, 2006

What Would Jesus Say to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton?

By John W Lillpop

What Would Jesus Say to Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton?

At the risking of appearing blasphemous, I present herewith my vision of what Jesus would say were He inclined to write Senator Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.).

Dearest Daughter,

How are you and former President Clinton getting on? I am so proud of you for working so diligently, and for so long, to preserve your marriage.

You deserve a special blessing for all you have endured over the years, especially the troubled years in the White House. In fact, given all the pain that you have suffered in that building, we are astonished that you continue to pray for another eight years there.

My purpose in writing is to thank you for advocating humane treatment of the 20 million illegal aliens now in the United States. How clever of you to stick with hardball politics, while all those around you have obscured the issue with irrelevant talk about secure borders, homeland security, and the rule of law.

Enlisting my name in opposing U.S. House Bill 4437 last April was a shrewd political move as well, and will surely earn you favor with illegal aliens whom will vote in large numbers if Howard Dean's recruiting drive works.

While I am pleased that you are concerned about the welfare (pun not intended) of illegal aliens, I do ask that you re-prioritize your efforts somewhat to more fully embrace my Good News ministry.


* As I have repeatedly stated, you will always have the poor in your midst. Republicans and big business will see to that, so do not be overly traumatized over the plight of the less fortunate.

* In lieu of your concern for poor illegal aliens, I request that you devote your attention and energies to the callous slaughter of the unborn in America. According to published government statistics, 47 million innocent lives have been snuffed out since the Roe v. Wade ruling against the unborn was issued by the Supreme Court in 1973.

That means that 47 million precious lives were destroyed because angry females loved the honey, but could not take the bees!

Please work to overcome this national sin, Hillary. By sending 20 million illegal aliens home, you will not only “Render to Cesar the things which are Cesar's,” but you will also make room for the children that will be saved by overturning Roe v. Wade. In heaven, we call that a win-win!

* Because you are now an expert on the Holy Scriptures, I am sure you realize that homosexuality is a grievous sin, against both God and nature. It is called an abomination in the Good Book, and I ask that you work for a constitutional amendment to recognize marriage as it was established by God in the Garden of Eden: A union between one man and one woman.

The sanctity and holiness of marriage must never be compromised by sanctioning unions between same sex partners or any other perverse concoction that politicians might dream up to secure more votes.

To recap: Illegal aliens should be out, innocent babies should be in. Gay marriage should be out, one man-one woman nuptials should be in.

Once one is committed to a living a Godly life, Hillary, righteous behavior is really quite simple!

One last piece of advice is offered: We tried to slow Bill down a little with that quadruple by-pass surgery in 2005. But he seems to be getting spunkier by the day. Please watch him like a hawk, Hillary, especially during your upcoming presidential campaign.

Bountiful Blessings Bestowed,


John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.