Saturday, September 23, 2006

OBL Dead? Democrats Break Out in Cold Sweats!

By John W. Lillpop

Unconfirmed reports from France suggest that the world’s premier Islamofascist, Osama bin Laden, is dead.

Although the demise of Osama bin Laden is not yet proven, Democrats such as Howard Dean, Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev.), and Representative Nancy Pelosi(D-Calif.) must be breaking out in cold sweats at the mere thought of losing this important campaign issue.

Of course, President Bush will deserve full credit for Osama’s death if it has actually taken place. Remember, it was Bush who orchestrated the isolation of OBL into inhospitable caves in Pakistan and Afghanistan, far removed from modern medical care, and vulnerable to diseases such as typhoid fever.

But will Bush be hailed as a hero for the demise of the Al-Qaeda snake that has terrorized the world for over a decade? Or will he be attacked by Democrats and the liberal media for failing to use diplomatic means?

John Kerry will plead “Why did George Bush fail to employ a ‘kinder, gentler’ approach?" in his most nauseating, bleeding-heart whine.

“With this barbaric act, this president has foolishly recruited millions of young Muslim men for Jihad against America. Because of George Bush, the Muslim Street will wage war on Main Street!” Kerry will continue with his righteous indignation in full bloom for all to see on C-Span in HDTV.

Other Democrats will accuse Bush of fabricating the story out of whole cloth and will scream “Bush Lied, Osama has not died!” as the new mantra of the left.

Harry Reid will demand an investigation to determine if Bush violated the U.S. Constitution by discriminating against middle-aged Muslim men who speak Arabic, live in caves, and mastermind plans for crashing jetliners into U.S. buildings.

Nancy Pelosi will promise to “Clean the Oval Office” by holding impeachment hearings if Democrats gain majority status.

Good luck, Democrats. It’s too bad about Osama!

John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.