Sunday, September 17, 2006

Imagine There Were No Liberals: I Wonder if You Can?

John W. Lillpop

Imagine a day without liberals. Some of the more positive results such a day would produce include:

-Anti-America attorneys, especially those working for the ACLU, would not exist.

-Without liberal lawyers & judges working against victims and on behalf of the guilty, executions of convicted killers would proceed according to law.

-Personal responsibility and “Just Say No!” would replace murder--AKA abortion--as an acceptable means for dealing with unwanted pregnancies.

-Welfare, food stamps, and similar social services would be provided only to citizens and only to citizens without family and unable to care for themselves.

-Federal, state and local spending, and taxes would be immediately reduced.

-A terrorist “Bill of Rights”--unthinkable!

- Children would be taught history and the three Rs in public schools. High school graduates would actually be able to read diplomas, but would be woefully lacking in condom-on-cucumber skills.

-School prayer, the Ten Commandments, and other religious expressions would once again permitted in public, as intended by our founding fathers.

-San Francisco would once again be recognized as a respectable major American city.

- ‘Press 1 for English’ would no longer be an infuriating hindrance to routine communications.

-Affirmative action, racial/gender preferences, and other government-mandated discrimination programs would be terminated.

-"Gay” marriage would be used to describe a “keenly alive and exuberant” relationship between one man and one woman.

-ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, New York Times, Washington Post, LA Times, and other media outlets of the Democrat party shut down!

-Illegal aliens would no longer be recruited as voters.

-With no liberal media and politicians to bait, right-wing bloggers would cease to exist.

All of the above results, excepting the last one, would heal and unite America like never before!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.