Monday, September 04, 2006

Coronation Street, Starring Katie Couric, Comes to CBS

By John W. Lillpop

Because of an underdeveloped appreciation for pop art and contemporary superstars, I am at a loss to understand the media madness over Katie Couric.

According to the Drudge Report, this "perky" refugee from NBC is set to rock the entire world when she becomes Anchor of the CBS Evening News. Go here:

Couric mania has even consumed highly placed conservatives. President Bush and Rush Limbaugh will reportedly help launch the Couric conquest of CBS.

From the left side of the universe, former President Bill Clinton, former CBS anchors Dan Rather and Walter Cronkite, and pundit Bill Maher are set to take part in the first official coronation of a queen on American soil.

Couric set the stage for taking over the elitist liberal media when she stated the following last May: “After listening to my heart and my gut—two things that have served me pretty well in the past—I’ve decided I’ll be leaving Today.”

Upon hearing those shocking words, my first reaction was: Couric has too little heart and a smite too much gut!

My second reaction was: Who cares whether this leftist pollutes the air with her liberal bias from NBC, CBS, or Al-Jazeer? On my TV cable, NBC is channel 4 and CBS is channel 5, so the move is not really that dramatic. Why is there such a fuss about this?

Besides, my aging brain is already overloaded with “breaking news” about illegal aliens marching for citizenship, civil or uncivil war in Iraq, Iran’s missing imam and crazy president, Nancy Pelosi’s planned renovations for the Speaker’s office, and on and on.

How is Couric’s move from NBC to CBS more important than any other so-called breaking news shoved down my throat (primarily by me) every day?

Most puzzling is Couric’s $15 million per year salary. As far as I know, she does not sing, dance, or do stand-up comedy. Frontal nudity is a no-no after Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” at the 2004 Super Bowl.

So, just how does Katie Couric earn $15 million a year? She has a nice smile, they say, and people like her.

Heck, I have a nice smile. People don’t particularly like me, but with $15 million a year to spend, I am sure I could bribe a few to say they do!

John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.