Alton Towers, the largest theme park in Britain, had scheduled a ''Muslim Fun Day,'' but it’s been canceled due to lack of interest, according to the park. Darn! This is awful news! I was so looking forward to the "Axes for Allah" parade at the end of the evening.
"Axes for Allah" is reminiscent of the parade that closes each day at Disney. But whereas the Disney parade is a joyful occasion staged for children, the Islamic version is designed to whet the appetites of adult jihadists--with the rich blood of infidels.
The festivities begin with the random selection of five infidels by park stewards. The infidels are then decapitated by Islamic jihadists with axes which have been certified as "Infidel Ready" in a local mosque.
The object is to see which jihadist can sever the head of his assigned infidel the quickest. ''Sever" in this contest means that the infidel head must be in the bucket, fair and square. Instant replays and appeals are not allowed.
Camcorders for recording the ax action are available for rent to Muslim school teachers and religious clerics responsible for educating Muslim youth. Audio recording equipment is also available, but is extra.
The ax-murdering winner is crowned "Axhole of the Day," and leads the grand parade in a float adorned with the bloody axes of all jihadist winners for the past week.
Seasonal discount coupons are available--to infidels only!
Those Muslims do not miss a trick when it comes to profiteering!
John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.
