Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Sarah Palin Causes Panic Attacks Among Distraught Liberals!

By John W. Lillpop

To put the Sarah Palin "crisis" into proper perspective, one must begin by ignoring the mindless drivel originating with overly distraught liberals and their water toting pixies in the mainstream media.

Liberals, you see, are in the throes of suicidal desperation, driven by escalating (but justified!) self-hatred, as they slowly awaken to the realization that Team Obama has hijacked the "big tent" party into one of blatant sexism.

Which is why John McCain's nomination of Sarah Palin caused such a huge stink among lefties. By placing a woman on the Republican ticket, John McCain was pouring a noxious mix of acid and salt into the wounds of diversity-obsessed Democrats still smarting from being traumatized by Obamamania in Denver.

Indeed, Sarah Palin has liberals flaying about in panic to deflect attention from the Democrats' newly minted legacy as the anti-woman party.

You know, the party that brazenly turned away a powerful woman with 18 million votes to her credit, in favor of propping up an elderly white male with 35 years on the public dole, known best for stealing other people's ideas and words.

Taste, please, of the delicious irony: As it turns out, the Republican Party is the best choice for those who truly value and respect women!

Even more delicious: The sight of Democrats with gobs of egg on their collective faces as a result of the party's narrow-minded, uninspired marriage to "old school" politics at a time when the nation is clearly ravenous for change!

Given the current mess they find themselves in, liberals were forced to launch an all out personal assault on Sarah Palin and her family, including unseemly "smear" attacks against Bristol Palin, the unwed, but pregnant, 17-year old daughter of Sarah Palin.

However, much to the chagrin of liberal nut cases, John McCain apparently knew that Bristol Palin was pregnant before he named her mother as his VP choice.

He also knew that Bristol Palin was raised by conservatives who hold human life to be a precious gift from God, rather than "punishment" for transgressions.

McCain was also aware of the fact that Bristol would not abort that unborn human life as though it were disposable animal waste, which would have been the child's miserable fate were the mother an unwed daughter of Barack Obama.

Based on those facts, McCain decided that Bristol's pregnancy was being handled with compassion and utmost respect for life. He also concluded the manner by which the pregnancy was handled would be a powerfully rich testament to the moral values and humanness of Sarah Palin.

To his credit, John McCain correctly decided that Sarah Palin should be America's next vice president, notwithstanding the inevitable panic attacks sure to come from outsmarted and outflanked liberals.