Osama bin Laden reportedly gets CNN on the television in his cave. It is rumored that the brutal terrorist prefers CNN to Al Jazeera because the later is too objective and “pro-west” in its coverage. With the exception of Wolfe Blitzer, OBL sees CNN as the terrorist’s choice for news—unfair and unbalanced to America, Israel, and infidels in general.
It is a safe bet than Osama knew the results of Tuesday’s elections very early in the evening, probably at least two or three hours before President Bush knew. That is just one of the advantages of being “in” with the maestros at the Zogby Poll service. John Zogby reportedly sent text messages to Osama every time a race was decided, and gave OBL a personal live call once the Democrats achieved majority status in the U.S. House.
Osama bin Laden immediately sent a congratulatory e-mail to Nancy Pelosi. OBL said the following to the Speaker-elect of the U.S. House:
Dear Ms. Pelosi,
We have learned that Allah has delivered the U.S. House from the clutches of that evil infidel—George W. Bush—and into the hands of those who will accept the complete domination of Islam in America.
We know that eliminating your Constitution and other secular Christian laws will take time. Because of the complexities involved, we are prepared to wait 60 days after your swearing-in as House Speaker before demanding that Islam become the law, and the only law, in America.
That means that by March 6, 2007, we expect to see Islam fully installed in America.
We were concerned that you might be unable or unwilling to surrender that quickly. We now understand that you have been working with this goal in mind for several years now.
We ask that Dianne Feinstein, Joe Lieberman, Charles Schumer, and any other Jewish infidels be excluded from any formal proceedings.
One last bit of information is vital: Be advised that from this date forward all females in your U.S. Congress will be required to wear appropriate face wear to shield their faces from public view. There shall be no exceptions.
In addition, we have been advised that your party is infested with people like Barney Frank and other “girly-men.” All such individuals, regardless of party affiliation or seniority, must be stoned to death before March 6 in keeping with Islam tradition.
Thanking you and Howard Dean in advance, I remain sincerely yours.
Praise be to Allah!
OBL
Well, there you go. And who said a Nancy Pelosi Speakership would help the terrorists?
John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!
