Friday, September 08, 2006

Who Says Liberals Are Not Patriotic?

By John W. Lillpop

President Bush is scheduled to deliver a televised address to the nation next Monday to commemorate the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attacks. In recent days, the president has repeatedly mentioned the considerable progress that has made in improving homeland security since 9/11.

While President Bush is reminding Americans of the need to remain diligent in fighting terrorism, Howard Dean and the Democrats have scheduled a number of events for next Monday to present the “opposition” perspective on terrorism, the assault on individual civil liberties by the Bush administration, and other liberal highlights.

The Democrats are planning their own “Patriots in Action Day" to mark the occasion, including the following activities:

* Dedication of the “Gorelick Wall” at CIA headquarters. This monument is the authoritative liberal answer to the Patriot Act, NSA wiretapping, Guantanamo Bay, and other outrageous excesses employed by G.W. Bush to unfairly harangue and harass young Middle Eastern men who speak Arabic, pray to Allah five times a day, and wear exploding shoelaces and or skull caps.

* Presentation of a five-year “anniversary” medallion to Osama bin Laden. This year’s medallion is a dysfunctional wiretap, made inoperable by union labor, caked in yellow cake, and co-autographed by Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame.

* Rollout a new line of Monica Lewinsky T-shirts that read “Make Oral Love, Not War!”

* Dual-sided campaign buttons featuring John Kerry’s photograph and a picture of the Twin Towers in flames. Side A reads “For.” Side B reads “Against.”

* A professional pre-enactment of the “Surrender to Terror” ceremony tentatively scheduled for January 20, 2007, if the Democrats regain control of the U.S. House.

* Post-humus presentation of the Howard Dean “Outstanding Democrat ” award to Mohamed Atta and the other 18 original 9/11 terrorists--all Taliban leaders killed by coalition forces in Afghanistan since 2001--and the “insurgents” vanquished in Iraq since 2003.

* Formal incorporation of the Council of American Islamic Relations (CAIR) into the Democratic National Committee as an affiliated partner.

Who says that liberals are not patriotic, blue-blooded Americans?

John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.