Saturday, September 09, 2006

Time to Make a Deal with Osama bin Laden!

By John W. Lillpop

Owing to the fact that far too much Muslim blood is being shed in the war on terror, I say it is time to make a deal with Osama bin Laden. Let's work with all due dilligence to end the hostilities and bring our troops home.

Here is my bid to the brutal rag head: America will give bin Laden the Clinton Memorial Library, including the “What Is Is?” reference section, 38 million illegal aliens currently squatting in America, and all "Blue" states except California.

Actually, once illegal aliens are shipped to OBL's care in Afghanistan, California will automatically revert to being a "Red" state where English will again be understood in restaurants, car washes, the Department of Motor Vehicles, liquor stores, and hospital emergency rooms.

Best of all, there will no longer be a $10 billion budget deficit to haunt California taxpayers!

In exchange, Osama agrees to switch his voter registration from Democrat to independent, and further agrees not to kidnap Howard Dean or vote for Hillary Clinton in 2008. We conservatives need Howard Dean around in order for the GOP to win in November!

If Osama balks at this offer, America can agree to throw in the federal Department of Education, the ACLU, and Nancy Pelosi’s personal, full-time botox surgeon to close the deal.

If worse comes to worse, we can sweeten the pot even further by offering to ship America's most famous Muslim brother, the charismatic and "clean and articulate" Barack Hussein Obama, to a cave in Paksitan. COD, of course.

As a famous Islamic intellectual once observed, “With infidels, you can negotiate anything!”

John W. Lillpop is a recovering liberal.