Friday, August 25, 2006

An Urgent Appeal to Ann Coulter--Change Nothing!

by John W. Lillpop

Dear Ann,

I, on the other hand, urge you to change nothing!

Please, leave that blessing of beauty, energy and genius called Ann Coulter exactly as she is!

Anyone who can incur the unanimous wrath of Hillary Clinton, the 9/11 Commission, Matt Lauer and other assorted leftist thugs, without even breaking a sweat or swearing, deserves national acclaim.

Perhaps an "Ann Coulter Holiday" is in order? Liberals who blanch at the idea can work for free that day.

Oh, if only our alleged Republican president and congress had one third your commitment to conservative values, one-eighth your intelligence, and 10% your fighting spirit. There might still be hope for the union.

Although, I confess, there are times when I wish you would go even further.

For example, after 9/11 you wrote that America should invade Muslim nations, take over their governments, and convert them to Christianity.

That was truly brilliant! But why stop there?

Let's add the DNC, mainstream media, and the states of California and Washington to the to-be-converted list. Convert them and watch the world suddenly change, for the better.

In my view, your most valuable public service occurs when you seduce lefties into public battle. For instance, Hillary Clinton decided to take a public shot at you a few weeks back.

She should have passed. Your withering reply reminded America and the world that Bill Clinton was accused of raping Juanita Brodericks and assaulting Kathleen Wiley. What an ingenious way to remind Hillary and the Democrat party of the huge baggage--named Slick Willie--that Hillary brings with her.

Unless she bails out on the bum via divorce, or has Vince Foster's physician prescribe some anti-depressants for the former president. That could end some of the excess baggage in the senator's life.

And what of Assemblywomen Joan M. Quigley, D-Hudson, and Linda Stender, D-Union of New Jersey? These political wonders, having ended hunger, poverty, crime, illegal immigration, medical malpractice and marital infidelity in the Garden State, decided that a national bonfire is needed to deal most effectively with your new book.

Asking either of these Democrats to actually read Godless would be pointless. Both are liberals and products of a public education system administered by liberals. So why bother asking them to read?

It should be obvious from these limited examples that America needs Ann Coulter, full strength, not decaff, nor Ann Lite.

After all, if We the People wanted wishy-washy, mindless pap we would simply read and listen to speeches given by Republicans- in -name -only like by Bill Frist.

Save us from all that, Ann: Please change nothing and just be yourself!

John W Lillpop is a recovering liberal.